Sex Dreams: What Do They Really Mean?

A man dreams that he is having sex with his boss at the office. A woman has a recurring dream that she is having sex with her ex-husband. Another man dreams that he is having sex with his wife and then he morphs into a woman. What do these dreams mean? Though writers have been interested in dreams with sexual imagery since the beginning of time, very few have scientifically examined these dreams.

Several authors have examined the characteristics of sex dreams for gender differences, target, dream acts etc., but only very recently was the meaning of sex dreams examined (DeCicco, 2009; DeCicco & Clarke, 2009; DeCicco, King & Humphreys, 2008). Dream interpretation with The Storytelling Method (DeCicco, 2007) was used and some very exciting findings were revealed.

One finding was that 2 major categories of discovery or meaning was found: 1) Sex and, 2) Relationship issues. Dreams that had more body parts, nudity and sex acts yielded a discovery about sex (e.g. I want to have sex with my boss, I fantasize about sex with my ex-boyfriend). The second major category yielded discovery about relevant waking day relationship issues with current partner, past partner, friends, family, etc. (e.g This dream relates to the recent fight with my husband, this dream relates to my ex-husband's feelings for me). All studies had >80% of participants reporting discovery when using The Storytelling Method of Dream Interpretation with a sex dream. This implies that dream interpretation with this method may be a valuable tool for tapping into relationship issues with dreams with sexual content.

This research is now being extended to examine dreams and infidelity, waking day behaviour, and cultural differences. For example, the sex dreams of Italians and Canadians are now being examined (DeCicco, Zanasi, Musolino & Wright, 2009). Investigating the meaning of dreams with sexual imagery promises to yield many important findings in a research area that has been underdeveloped with dreams that are typical, and yet, still mysterious.

Playing the Violin While I Sleep

Dream writings from the beginning of time have suggested that dreams can be used for creative pursuits. Many authors, artists and scientists have documented that dreams have helped with inventions, works of art, and writings, in many ways. I myself have experienced writing in my own dreams, which has helped me to find new ways of expressing material in scientific articles and, in the writing of my recent book.

In conversations with a professor of psychology and music in Italy, Massimo Schinco experienced writing a piece of music in a dream. He plays the piece and explains the process on youtube at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cI1kz2_8Z1c

This work nicely explains the creative process of music and the contribution that the dreaming mind can make. Interestingly, in my own teachings and workshops, I find people who are not familiar with the dreaming mind believe that sleep and dreams is akin to falling off the face of the earth. It`s as if sleep is a totally disconnected experience for the individual. In reality, the opposite is true. Sleep and dreaming is a continuous process of consciousness from waking mind to sleeping mind, back to waking mind again, etc. Once we realize this, then we can become aware of our own consciousness while awake and, while asleep in dreaming. What would be the benefit of this?

By paying attention to dreams and then consciously working with them, we can tap into the creative process that occurs while sleeping. The dreaming mind assimilates and consolidates information and then creates new information-as is illustrated by Massimo Schinco on youtube.
We now have a self-generating information system that we can tap into for our own creativity. We can literally write, paint, sculpt and even play the violin in new and creative ways, while sleeping.